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Horsenwelles
i'm horsen. i make cartoons, music, art, and mischief on the net. get down you funky clowns.

Daniel @Horsenwelles

Age 31, Male

animator

davidson highschool graduate

alabama torture

Joined on 10/9/06

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Horsenwelles's News

Posted by Horsenwelles - April 15th, 2009


DINNY WURL!!!!!
DINNY WURL!!!!!
DINNY WURL!!!!!
DINNY WURL!!!!!
OMG DINNY WURL!!!!!

disney world was PERFECTION!!!!!!!

EVEREST IS BETTER THAN YOUR MOTHER!!!!

FUCKKING RUUUULLLEEEDDD MAAAAAAANNNNNN!!!

also

im planning on making a game

platformer where you fight to stay as high as possible

and now

a public service announcement
hello eager young minds!

theres nothing cooler than being hugged by someone you like

but if someone tries to touch you in a place or in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable,

thats no good!

HEIL CHINA!

and now, your scheduled entertainment!

COCK JOKE!
(audience laughs)

a public service announcement
hello eager young minds!

your previous choice in entertainment was not funny

HEIL CHINA!

and now, your scheduled entertainment!

i have aids
(audience laughs)

a public service announcement
ACCEPTABLE!

DINNY WURL!!!


Posted by Horsenwelles - April 1st, 2009


the song was "message to harry manback" by tool

i dont eat dogs

penis jokes are better than communism :D


Posted by Horsenwelles - March 26th, 2009


since i have just recently (like today... march 26....) beaten the final zelda game, phantom hourglass, completing the completion of the series so far, im reviewing every full zelda game ever made!!!

The Legend of Zelda
the legend of zelda is the cornerstone for one of the most successful game series ever made. it has touched gamers for 24 years with it's great but simple story-telling, action, and diversity. it has been critically reviewed many times for its lack of visual identification throughout the game, and may even stop modern gamers from playing, but it made it that much more of a challenge :D

this game is the perfect game on the NES

10/10

The Legend of Zelda II
the sequel is almost as revolutionary, but still sticks as one of the greatest games on the NES. its gameplay is like castlevania (and thats a good thing), making it the only official zelda game that exclusively used sidescrolling instead of top down or 3d action. it has great controls, excellent storyline (except for a bit of confusion in the linear pathway), and perfect challenge. gamers only complained about its sudden change from the 1st's style. another winner.

9/10

Link to the Past
potentially the greatest zelda game ever made. it has been given praise for many years, and continues to succeed. it returned to the fans with the top down style with a 3d map. it was the greatest game at the time; given better reviews than Super mario world at the time.

not much more can be said about this masterpiece.

11/10 (yeah.... its that good)

Link's Awakening
the first portable installment of the series, and it continued to awe fans. it has a completely random storyline, but continues with the basic idea of all top-down zelda games. its diversity of weapons and side quests kept the players going for days on end. the controls on the gameboy were just as great os the ones on the NES, and gave it a classic feel. the bad about this game was the ending and the black and white, given it was on a developing system. excellent game, but not quite as good as link to the past or LoZ.

8/10

The Ocarina of Time
i dont see why i have to even review this... oh well...
te ocarina of time is the first 3d zelda game in the series (as everyone knows by now). it gave a whole new experience to the lovable series with the most epic storyline ever conceived into any game at the time. it had soo many features, side quests, temples, songs, and other things in it, that it was the largest action RPG ever created for a long time after it came out. the boss battles were considered the most creativity ever seen on the N64 until banjo tooie (in my opinion). i fucking love this game and everything ever made about it.

win

11/10 (i really love doing that :P)

Majora's mask
probably the most average zelda game in the long series... it had an inventive idea of using time beased quests that would come back later in the series, but excecuted it with style flaws, and annoying time revival (that made you lose alot of stuff). it was a heavy challenge though, and offered a unique experience. the bosses were creative, but lacked the audacity of the ocarina of time bosses. it was also pretty short... waay shorter than any other zelda game (only 4 temples to go in). the story was a bit lacking as well, but the end made up for it.

all in all, its just another brick in the wall

6/10

WAAAIIIIIITTTT!!!!

this review was based off the temples themselves. i did make a mistake on the length assumption. the game is INCREDIBLY expansive, and has just as much potential than many of the other zelda titles we all love. the story was well written and had a way of pulling itself together.

now heres some of the problems. 1: FUCKING HARD MOON LEVELS (not neccesarily a bad thing though), 2: basic graphics glitches that should've been fixed since OoT, 3: reused character models, 4: you have to rewind a bit too much for any sort of comfort, and finally 5: temples are timed... which means constant restarts for many unexperienced players (but for people on NG, it shouldnt be a problem at all :D)

reconsideration review

8/10

Oracle of Seasons/Ages
incredibly unpopular zelda game... its suprizing.
it takes you back to the top-down glory days, with lots of items, lots of side quests, and its portable. the gameplay is pretty average, but fun nonetheless. it was like a sequal to links awakening.... with more color. it had great potential, but lacked in its supposed "multiplayer system" of link cables and passwords. good game though.

i enjoyed them more than Majora's Mask.

8/10

Wind Waker
the 3rd 3D game in the series and the first in 128 bit. its gameplay was truly amazing. an initiative design, long temples, great boss battles, an insanely wide variety of extra missions and trophies, but.... the sailing.... the sailing took 15 to 20 minutes to get from 1 portion of the ocean to another (thank god for the warp system). the lengthy story gave you a sense of resolve once the game was completed (by cramming your sword into gannon's face in a violent rage XD). the music was wonderful and origional, despite the constant sailing loop. i still think, even against alot of critics, that this game is next to Ocarina of Time in greatness.

the sailing made it lose a point though (but it was pretty fun on the sea nonetheless)

9/10

Four Swords Adventures
multiplayer+Zelda+mayhem= wtf???

this game was designed to be an extra on the gameboy edition of "A Link to the Past", and was pretty successful. But, when it hit the gamecube as a standalone game, where each player had to have a connected GBSD, made it incredibly confusing and crazy. dont get me wrong, i love the idea of playing zelda with your friends... but this was a bit off the deep end. you could kill your friends with your enemies, which seemed fun to do, like castle crashers, but no.... it just complicated things for the team...

this was a fun, challenging, multiplayer, cuss-fest of mass proportions. i love it and hate it.

5/10

The Minish Cap
here comes another zelda game for the top down fans!

it gave zelda a new look. it has a kind of bland story, but with good action and plot. the main villian seemed kind of gay in general though. the gameplay, as i said, was influential, but not long enough to last 7 hours. with 4 temples, a load of side missions, and a gay final boss, it was actually pretty enjoyable.

it told alot about how the cap came to be the symbol of link.

7/10

Twilight Princess (Wii version)
My personal favorite zelda title of all time. it was the only time i have ever seen my friend, who is a master at halo 3, give up the controller to me and say "do you really think im going to try and fight that thing!?". it has beautiful music (and a soundtrack in general). its fluency is fast paced, diverse (as usual), and epic. it tells the story of a Link to the Past in full cinematics, it gives an awesome sense of heroism, and it has some of the best written dialogue in any zelda game (Midna is a little bitch lol). the ending is classic ganon bashing... but this time on horseback as well. the engine and controls were excecuted perfectly (on the wi at least), and i regret trading it in after i completed most of the side quests. my god, what a game.

this game lowered my GPA

chuck norris actually got roundhouse kicked by THIS

20/10 (its potentially the best 1 player game ever)

PS: IM NEVER CHANGING MY OPINION ON THIS AMAZING EXPERIENCE OF A GAME

Phantom Hourglass
and last, the game i was playing not 1 hour ago, Phantom Hourglass.

this game... wow...

at first, i was a bit skeptical on how the pure stylus controls would be. but....

they were perfect.

i have never played anything like it. its sailing was actually my favorite part in this game too :D. it embraced everything that was good about Wind Waker, and expanded on it whilst giving up some graphical power (but not enough to hinder its awesomeness). i immediately was impressed by the crisp visuals, alluring soundtrack, and tasty gameplay. the story was expansive and clever. every second made me want to play it more.

great game.

incredibly long, incredibly addictive, some of the best gameplay ever to hit any console.

almost as good as twilight princess.

10/10 (greatness)

___________________
well that about wraps it up

i know i diddnt review the CDi's

but i dont consider them video games.

they are jokes to everything ever

great job nintendo on this incredible series of awesomeness

you did it again nintendoh!

review of every zelda game ever


Posted by Horsenwelles - March 9th, 2009


it was alright

A- for me (great writing and special effects.... but lacked a bit on acting)

lets see

i have been working with a few people on collabs such as the

walk collab (5 submissions.... FIVE!!!!), the emanhattan Bday collab (dions only), and the castle crashers collab (2 submissions)

no solo shit has been in the works at the moment

hmmmm

i have now gained a life achievement friday night

i strapped a bass to someone with scotch tape

something many of you will never dream to experience

what else.....

best thing on youtube

i have awareness of many people making jokes about the male genetalia lately..... why is this new trend setting on recentlyaddedlands.com (joke about newgrounds >:C)?

cocks

IS IT REALLY THAT FUNNY?????

and below is my tankman costu(i get slapped by the captain)..... uniform

buy me a taco

WATCHMEN


Posted by Horsenwelles - February 26th, 2009


got banned from the BBS for 15 days :P

so dont expect any collab posts :P

thank Ksd guys in the CC collab, the walk collab, and on Dynanimations

(BTW Ksd, did i say every month? i dont get a basic profit from my job past those bills. flash wouldnt happen with my paycheck)

anyway

i got a facebook

my band has made the most hilarious videos known to mankind (it involves bulls on parade :3)

flashes

flashes

FLASHES

FUCKING FLASHES >:C

im making em left and right (for dyn, NG collabs, and just random shit)

hmmm

oh yeah

a basic philosophy

this text will appear in your mind as a sound. an identification of a string of white pictures. arranged in such a way that you should be able to create an understanding of the pictures meaning. through a collective assortment of sounds and illusionary thought (pictures in your head) such that you may predict the initial meaning of the words. rwubvvvvbvvjdjjdjjdjdjdjjdjjdjdlll will appear as nothing of importance, and your brain will skip over the jumbled chaotic string of pictures to try and find something else that makes sense to you. if i stop writing now you' l th k f me s rr ga t fo l o wa a y e o h to s op d par ph a d ry t m e y u thi of t i h d tually rit en. o , aby ill j t write only ome let ers, an le ve te puzz to you.
have you tried to guess what i have written? well, if you have, than i have percieved correctly

your mind is yearning to read, but you ignore it and look for visual stimulation

thats what i do :p

ok

im done for today.

NEW SHIT TO TALK ABOUT


Posted by Horsenwelles - January 27th, 2009


a new game is in the works!

heres a couple of preview ideas:

platformer

death cutscenes

cutscenes every few levels

an unforgetable ending sequence

physics puzzles

and of course,

easter eggs and achievements

we are currently 1% of the way.

heres the stats soo far:

we have the coding, no graphics, no sound, no menu, nothing else really

we have ALOT TO DO!!!!

_______________________________
ill be updating this post as we go


Posted by Horsenwelles - January 24th, 2009


this sexy news report has been brought to you by the flash drawn jpeg below this message!!!

diglet can never fly


Posted by Horsenwelles - January 24th, 2009


hi

YOU SILENCED FROM HAVING A FAGGOT OPINION!!!!!! USSR!!!!

Heil Obama!!!!!!!

(thats what my friends ar gonna turn into)


Posted by Horsenwelles - January 22nd, 2009


THE BEST MOVIE EVER

SWING YOUR ARMS FROM SIDE TO SIDE! DO THE MARIO!

the collab is fucking up


Posted by Horsenwelles - January 13th, 2009


first of all, to entertain you all....

.
/* */
YUM

and now

GET YOUR MARIO SATIRIC PARTS IN!!!! GET THEM IN NOOOOOW!!!!!

the fat red suited plumber collab is due in 1 week! then i putting it together and submitting it

also

i noticed there were obama ordaments this year

now everyone can hang that n****r by a tree :D

PS: the contraversial word NIG-GER is nothing more than the evolved form of the fire type pokemon "Niglet".

and since this is a frontpage post...

another time to do something another day or something