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Horsenwelles

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i explained what you do wrong with comedy in my last reviews, so i'll look at this one a little more briskly.

its a gamegrumps animation in which you make fun of people that make gamegrumps animations when in and of itself, it is created by one. its about zooming in on faces that were drawn like something you'd see on 4 chan to illicit laughs, they act silly for no particular rhyme or reason, and there is 1 jab at the editor, and i honestly think that is the best joke you have ever written, or should i say, the joke you've ever written,

why does that joke work? well its jontron's editing in a nutshell. the way it was executed was rather funny, and i definitely enjoyed how it was a full out satire at that point, and not some dumb mix of things. kudos.

overall, it is surprisingly your best, its not as obnoxious or grating as your other works i've reviewed, and i even laughed once. you might be heading back on track.

Speedo responds:

horse

well, a yelling of "fuck" as a loose joke thing again, but it had some self awareness to it. i liked the ending, though i sincerely stress that you shouldn't yell to try to illicit laughter. yelling isn't really a punchline, or a clever way to express it unless the delivery of it was demanded, and in this case it wasn't.

as always, red-'s animation is smooth and colorful. everything blended well and it worked in a scott pilgrim-esque way, so A+ for that as usual.

my main problem here is still that use of a yelled "fuck" as a punchline when its just there to show anger. i mean, yeah its not where the flash's actual joke came through, and i'm not sure if it was satiring the idea or not, but it just seemed like a secondary joke, and it was a little obnoxious. but, for my time, i enjoyed it and you did a good job.

just make sure you don't get too raspy and screamy like jontron. nobody wants to see another one of those things ;)

20 mb? jesus, but ok. lets begin:

it was, in short, nice. everything had such a sense of softness to it. the story, while simple and a little shallow, was right where it needed to be. it wasn't anything more than that, and it succeeded in what it set out to do. i did think the whole "it was all a dream" concept kinda took away from the whole experience, but it was nice regardless of that tired cliche.

the animation is where i would normally tear into it, but because it was very self aware, and it was obviously not from a seasoned animator, its quite good. the proportions on the human characters was pretty awkward though, and i would definitely work on that, but for the bear, i rather liked the design and the direction you went with it. i did notice most of the flash is 1 walking animation that you just made a new movieclip for every time a new event took place, and the reuse of the looking up animation, but i wont hold that against you. for what the story needed to be, it told it well, and you framed the shots very nicely (especially the underwater scene. it was a fantastic shot).

i don't think there's much else here to say. some choppy animation, but it held together, and it did what it needed to. i guess the song was a little mediocre for my taste, but it again worked in this. pretty nice job.

PS: yes. the only reason i found this and am reviewing it is because of your comment on my newspost. i honestly wasn't expecting to give this an entirely positive review, but here ya go

i dont write negative reviews just to be writing them. at this point i'm not even sure you understand how funny generally works. in fact i'm not really sure you knew what this flash was or why you were making it. i'm not sure if you were going for a satire of the unnatural "silly" faces and yelling or you were indulging upon them because you wrote "lol get it" or something to that effect by the end, and it was pointing towards it being a satire, but without any of the elements of satire.

it was a very empty flash in writing terms. what do i mean by this? well, lets think of a joke. a joke has a set up, occasionally a trial period through the joke, and a pay off. you set the stage by having about 5 loud, obnoxious faces that didn't matter or mean anything. they weren't a part of the joke delivery because there was no set up, and the pay off was really just showing how pacman looks in the game itself. i then ask why did you choose to make that a pay off at all if its all very obvious and had nothing to do with the silly obnoxious faces. the faces cannot be the pay off of a joke because its like if i showed you a picture of a flower and you laughed hysterically at it, considering it a pay off for a joke when nothing was established ahead of time to set up the joke. objects themselves aren't funny alone, and a face that you normally don't see is not a joke.

now for the other element: yelling. yelling is another tool you can use for a pay off, but when used without a set up, it is also not funny. "BALLS" isn't funny because it wasn't a part of something. it is a word that you yelled. you have these ghosts just standing around and then they start yelling. that's it. then you have them screaming and jittering around in reaction to a death. that's the closest this came to having a joke because the yelling was about something. the only problem with that implementation is that its not really anything new. its just a glorified amount of violence that really didn't mean anything. the shaking visuals in response to it are just annoying and pointless.

ok, now for what i originally said about the unsure nature of this flash. were you aware that saying "lol get it" or whatever you wrote is entirely contradictory to what a parody is? a satire would have benefited from that ending, but you put effort towards a bunch of things that someone would satire in the effort to parody. do you even know what setting out to do a certain thing is? if you were setting out to make this a parody, i wouldn't really bother writing this huge block of text, but this is just mind boggling. who was this flash for? was this made to make fun of a certain audience or appeal to one, because the amount of effort towards the latter tells me that you really didn't know if you were making fun of the audience or giving something to them. you don't seem to have goals for your flashes, but at least the others kind of knew what they were.

in the long awaited closing, let me just say that you definitely need to think ahead. you need to find some overall goal for your flash. you need to go all the way in one direction or the other. you do animate well, but you lack any sort of creative vision from this material. maybe stop making obnoxiousness the goal and slow down your material. don't stubbornly fight against progress and fall blindly into an audience that likes things that are loud and pointless. you have the ability to be better, and this flash is like an insult to yourself and your audience. it shows how ignorant and juvenile they are, and i think you should turn yourself around instead of bathing in their very pathetic praise.

stop pandering for your own sake. you're better than that

Speedo responds:

Horsenwells was spitting facts 10 years ago ngl

worst flash lag i have ever seen

10/5

i'm sorry dereck... i seriously did work on mine and i'll submit it late, but i didn't forget. not to mention mikey's a faggot <3

Dosensuppen responds:

Mikey's a faggot indeed.

this had no protein bearing plant life in it. false advertising check your facts unsubscribe

DotExecutables responds:

Oh no not da unsubscrib u mak mai willy sad :c

I did check my facts. Oney even liked the video and commented that he agreed.

Please don't be angry on teh interwebs is all in good enngg

one time i was walking out of a bar. it was a nice steel structured bar artisan crafted for the most perfect of factory uses. upon walking out i saw 2 genies who had stolen eachother's lamps. i asked them: "who are you both and why are you both not having sexual intercourse in public?". they, instead of answering, began to have sexual intercourse. i started singing as loudly and as unapologetically as i could. a soft breeze filled the air and i knew the world was spinning. i needed to get off of it or else i would succumb to motion sickness and vomit in my lap. i tried and tried to get off but i couldn't and i ended up vomiting all over my lap.

the endit was a good flashe

this was written before i watched it:

i'm really not looking forward to another one of these... i always give them lukewarm reviews for trying to be too large for simply unnecessary things and characters who are all involved in a video game that i consider a canvas instead of a video game, and its really an empty shell of a series as of now (to me at least). can this turn it around? i pray for that. i pray for a turn around in both scope and content.

after watching it:

it didn't turn things around, but i realized something... this isn't supposed to be funny. its like its written as just a simple little character narrative of getting from point a to point b, but there are no jokes that work. there are some character quirks that i would have giggled at regardless of the implementation of jokes, but now... i cant review this as a comedy, despite it being listed as one. if i did, i would immediately say "this has been going in the wrong direction for so long. it has been unfunny jokes slathered with some mixed bag voice acting since the beginning". i feel like reviewing this not as a comedy, for what it should and would be and probably is trying to be, but as a serious little adventure saga episode. for what it is, i didn't find it awful. the characters played off eachother well, there were some genuine moments with the villain and the brooklyn styled adventurer that i found both intriguing and well written. i like the animation even if it is a load of tweens, because it was consistent with source material, and despite me not liking the diamond armored guy's voice at all, the rest was either well done or so cheesy that it made me really enjoy it. if i mentioned any of the jokes i would be much more depressed about this, but... honestly, for what i got, the rest was pretty decent.

so honestly, if you tone down the attempts at humor next time, i would have to say that you would be going in a genuinely good direction. kudos on helping me realize that =)

little late to the mark CW, but here we go as if this had come out back then:

i laughed. this was a simple amalgam of jokes, but it was all designed to be through delivery. the delivery of the voice acting was simply the show stealer. topped with some simple but nice moving animation with the pretty much standard carbon water style, everything melded very well and it fits in perfectly with the rest of the MvC3 flashes, and is one of the very few that had a delivery that made me laugh. good show

i'm horsen. i make cartoons, music, art, and mischief on the net. get down you funky clowns.

Daniel @Horsenwelles

Age 32, Male

animator

davidson highschool graduate

alabama torture

Joined on 10/9/06

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